Halloween is that time of year when we all get to be a little weird.
We get to dress up and play pretend and if your of the right age (and sometimes not), you can go door to door for sugar drenched sweets that have no nutritional value and if you believe the legends could also be poisoned as well.
Everything in moderation is good including the strange and the horrifying but sometimes these things can go too far.
The ‘Halloween Whopper‘ from fast food monolith Burger King and the rampant press over the fact that the specialty burger can make one’s poop turn green is one such example of this sort of indulgence taken beyond it’s proper limit.
For instance, you cab now attend the Halloween party of your choice dressed not as a ghost, witch or black cat, but also as the burger in question along with it’s green aftermath.
News of the burger’s special ability flushed it’s way onto the internet early this month when certain customers of the burger chain that had the special Halloween sandwich started reporting that the burger had turned their poop a rather nice green color. These initial reports were confirmed by others and the Halloween Whopper got it’s fifteen minutes of fame in the internet era.
However, by time I got to this one it was old news, and certainly it’s fifteen minutes had passed. However, the store simply named Halloween Costumes decided to make some money off this weird turn of events by turning the burger and the green stool that follows into a Halloween costume.
Now, considering the subject matter at hand, you could probably sit there and think of many words you may use to describe such a product. Using pure guess work, I would suspect that one of those words would not be ‘sexy,’ which the page for the outfits on Halloween Costumes uses quite regularly:
And you thought that Burger King mascot was scary by himself…
“Hmmm, how to broach this subject delicately…wait, the subject is sexy poop, so that’s not humanly possible? Okay! In that case, better include all the poop puns we can!! Now that we understand each other, away we go: Burger King’s limited edition “Halloween Whopper” has been making headlines lately, and not because of its spooky black bun.
Let’s say this #1 headline has more to do with…#2. That’s right, those brave enough to try this festive food have reported that after consuming the burger, their poop turns GREEN! Burger King has assured consumers that the bread contains less than 1% food dye and is completely safe, but that didn’t stop the hashtag #GreenPoop from blowing up on Twitter, and it sureeeee didn’t stop us from parodying this whopper of a story with a Halloween costume idea! Without further a-poo, we bring you a DIY tutorial on how to create a sexy green poop Halloween costume.”
As noted above, Burger King officials would not state exactly what ingredient is the culprit for the outbreak of green turds across the United States and elsewhere, but assures the public it is FDA approved and said that the black bun that makes the burger stand out visually is caused by the: “Smoky pepper flavor of A.1. [steak sauce] baked into the bun.”
Regardless, one wonders if the ever waging fast food burger wars will lead to McDonald’s coming up with a special burger for Christmas which turns your pee red and makes it smell of peppermint candy canes…the new era of cross promotion of fast food with the holidays has begun!
–Thomas Spychalski
(Via Halloween Costumes/NY Daily News)
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